Tuesday, January 25, 2011

It's a small world

Ok so I haven't been completely honest with you all. You have to  understand; this whole thing is very new to me.
 Back in August when Blue Eyes made his demands and then I stopped talking to him, I met someone online. And it was fun. Again we would chat through Facebook and texting (I understand this technology makes it easier to communicate but I miss talking to someone on the phone for hours on end about whatever). We did meet in person at a bar and his two buddies joined us as well. If I remember right this was sometime in late November after Thanksgiving. I'm going to call this one The Greek so he has a name. :)

We made a plan to meet up again and go out in December but then I got sick and I had to cancel on him. Since then we haven't really been talking much via text. See before a day didn't go by that we weren't texting from the moment I woke up till I went to bed. He works very long hours so getting together is kind of tough anyway. and it was strange to go through a day without hearing from him at all. Once in a while we would text but it just died down. And now with Blue Eyes cropping up every once in a while I wasn't sure what was going on. I started feeling that he and I had said pretty much all we could say via text so I figured he washed his hands of me and that was the end of it.

Yesterday though something possessed me to text him and ask if he was interested in cashing in on that rain check. He replied back that he was going out Wednesday night with some friends and that I was welcome to join him. And I agreed. Of course listening to the weather report it's supposed to sleet, rain, freezing rain then snow all day and night tomorrow. Just my luck. Oh but wait it gets better. This morning when I logged into Facebook I saw that The Greek and Blue Eyes are now friends. 

It's a too damn small world!! 

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Blue Eyes update

Yesterday, my mom, Aunt and I were sitting around the kitchen table eating lunch and talking about Blue Eyes. We all pretty much said the same thing, he is a nice person and a great guy if it wasn't for his views on sex. We all believe that he hasn't really done anything sexually and he wants to try it before he commits to anyone. That was pretty much the end of the discussion but I totally believe that with all of my heart.

So I go about my business the rest of the day. I went to a friends house and had her little kids entertain me. I had a blast. Anyway, while  there Blue Eyes sends me a text message about how he keeps trying to think of things to say so that I could trust him again but that he believes it's never going to happen. I told him that I actually did trust him, and I do, it's just the way he thinks about sex hurts me. Makes me feel worthless, and I don't know what to do or think anymore. He replied back that he doesn't know what he can say other then times are tough and he's trying to give me all that he can offer. (Which is still friends with benefits). I then texted him back and told him that there will always be good times and bad times. The bad times never go away and that he needs to understand where I'm coming from here. That I want to be friends with him but also I want something more and that I respect myself too much to just jump into bed with him or anyone else for that matter. He replied back that he understands completely but that it's just a shitty situation. I told him that this does suck all around and that I'd like us to at least be friends and hang out but that we don't even do that. He replied back saying that his schedule and his responsibilities make things hard for him to plan. At this point I wanted to say well that's where you make me a responsibility and just like you tell me no I can't meet up tonight you turn around and tell the other person no and come see me. But I didn't of course. I just told him that my schedule is just as crazy and that it's hard to plan things for me too. I'm still waiting for a reply to that text.

And that's another thing that pisses me off. This is all done through text and never through a phone call or for him to even say can we meet up and talk. Nothing. I though things were over between us then he does little shit like this and I don't know where I am anymore.

What do you guys think? I am I still crazy for talking to him, even now?

Thursday, January 20, 2011

More Bathroom wars!!!

He did it to me again this morning. My grandfather is one of those people that is up with the sun so because it is now getting lighter earlier in the morning he gets up either a little bit before me or exactly when I do. (Ok lets face it I'm not a morning person and I need an alarm to wake me otherwise I'd be in bed asleep till 10-11AM. In my view there is nothing wrong with that but the moron who came up with the idea of when the day starts never consulted me about it.)

This morning he was shaving his face for what seemed like 30 minutes. And when I say he was shaving his face I should say he was shaving his head. This man runs the razor over his entire neck, even the back of his neck. Down the front of his face from his temples to the base of his throat, up and down, over and over. He even shaves BEHIND his ears. Now I know why he has absolutely no hair there at all. Before I just figured it was due to his baldness. But no it's because he shaves back there too.

We've all told him to wait till we all leave for work/school to get up. He's in his nineties. Where in the heck is he going to go that early in the morning? But for some reason it's a huge rush to be downstairs by 8 and in his arm chair because that's his nap time. He goes through all this stuff of getting himself ready and then helping my grandmother to get washed and dressed in the morning and his reward is to fall asleep in the arm chair in the living room by 8:30-9:00AM. Shit if all you were going to end up doing is fall asleep, just stay in bed!!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Week from hell

So far this week has been one for the record books and it's only Wednesday!

Although Monday was great (Because I was home), Tuesday we had the power go out for two hours in the morning. I am standing in the shower, naked with soap all over everything, in the dark. I can't say that everything was clean but it sure was interesting. Well with no electricity I could not dry my hair and I'm sorry but I am sooooo not walking outside of my house looking like a wet mop. Especially not in 20 degree weather either. In the summer I wouldn't have cared, but not in January right after an ice storm. And really I'm not going out of my way to get to work. If I had a different job, probably. But not for this place. Soooooo not worth it.

And my grandfather in his 92 year old wisdom (I use wisdom loosely) starts knocking on the bathroom door because he thinks I'm just sitting on the john. Helloooo... can you not hear the water running?! Well anyway I get out, get dressed in a fresh pair of PJs when I get out of my room, he makes a beeline for the bathroom. I'm sure he was in there doing a little victory dance or something. BTW it's almost like this every morning. Six people fighting over one bathroom in the morning. It's great. You should try it. Really.

I just want to know.. What is a 92 year old man, who can't see well enough to aim into the toilet bowl, going to do in the shower in pitch black darkness? Well I can tell you, the water was on for literally 3 minutes. I don't know about you but when I'm in the shower it takes about 3 minutes just to lather up.

When he got out of the shower my grandmother had him dig out a candle from her drawer. I don't know if you've ever been to a Greek Orthodox Church at Easter. We always take the candles home - first because you paid like 50 dollars for 4 candles and second because the light from the church brings good luck. Apparently after we are done bringing the light home usually you blow it out after eating on Easter Sunday, my grandmother pilfers the candles and keeps them in her room. Anyway so she has my grandfather dig this candle out and  they light it. So she's sitting there like the Queen (of Goat shit) she thinks she is and starts telling him what to wear for the day. I have to say she kinda has to do this because my grandfather wouldn't know up from left if someone didn't tell him. Well she's holding this candle while sitting in bed with the covers all over her and I'm watching her and I said to her are you crazy? First you are getting wax all over yourself, second what are you going to do if you drop the candle on the bed? Who is going to put out the fire? Where are you two going with no electricity? The house is starting to get cold and you two need to stay in bed where it's warm.

Just so you know, my grandfather, grandmother and father all think I don't have two braincells to rub together. But it's ok because we all know it's really in reverse. My two grandparents in the winter, completely cover themselves with the blanket. Head, toes everything. I'm more than positive that they have some carbon monoxide damage from breathing it in all the time. So when I pass along my advice they all look at me and laugh. But that's ok one day I'll have the last laugh because they'll be dead and I'll still be here. :)

Ok I know I'm sorry this sounds really awful  but you have no idea what it's like living with these people for the past 18 years. It's been a living nightmare. Most of the time I don't think of them as grandparents, they feel like my In-laws. This is why I'm terrified of having In-Laws when I get married. I totally get why everyone else believes in nursing homes.  I am a believer too!!!!

Friday, January 14, 2011


Gods help me, lately I have been so bored at work that I've spent most of the day futzing around. I don't want to say exactly what I've been doing. but I've just been so bored and tired of this same gig over and over again. I need something but I don't know what it is. Any new little thing that pops up I jump to do them to break away from my major BORING responsibilities. And my superiors take pleasure in the fact that I am the one that has to do this stupid shit. UGHH I feel like it's time for a change but with this economy where in the heck am I gonna go?!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

It's been a while...

I know this blog isn't all that popular and that I've been seriously neglecting it for almost a year. I'm sorry about that. For whatever reason I'm much better and writing down my thoughts in my little leather bound journal than typing them out on here.

Trust me I wasn't always like this. As I child I would sporadically writing in my little notebook my thoughts for the day or week. I enjoyed it because I would work out whatever little problems I had. Always a loner as a child I find that I am sort of the same way even now as an adult.

A few things have changed since the last time I blogged. I was introduced to a friend of a family member. To preserve my identity and the real people in my life, their identity as well, I will not be using real names on here when talking about them. So from this point on I will call him Blue Eyes.

Blue Eyes is of the same ethnicity as me, he comes from a good family, again like me. But there's just one thing that I can't understand about him. I don't know what it is exactly but it's like he's not into any commitment of any kind. You see we met back in May and I thought things were good. Stupid me. We Facebooked and texted for days on end. Not once did we call each other. When I would make overtures for either him to call me or me to call him he would say he was home and he didn't want to wake anyone up. I've been to his house. It's a pretty big house. I'm positive there is a room that is far enough away from the bedrooms that you can't be heard.


We made a few attempts at meeting each other in June. The first time I was told he wasn't able to make it because of some event at his job that he was helping set up. Ok fine I understood that. We rescheduled for a different day in the same month. He had to cancel that as well because of something that was going on at his home. Once again I said ok fine no problem. We attempted to meet up again a third time and go for drinks and a movie. We were supposed to meet at 7. He texted to tell me he was running late and wouldn't be there till close to the movie time. I said that's fine and that I would see him later that night. The time for the movie comes around - it's about 10 pm and I don't hear from him. I text him, call him no response. I wait another 30 minutes thinking he's late or something happened to him. Nothing. I give up and head home.

He contacts me the next morning telling me he fell asleep and only just woke up. Ladies I'm sure you are rolling your eyes right now. Trust me I did too when I heard this. But there was something about him that just pulled me to him. It still to this day draws me in a little bit - but I am getting ahead of myself here. In the meantime I was really hurt by all of this. I thought I did something wrong. That it was my fault he was avoiding me but I never said any of this to him. Girls, women, don't do that! So I kept on going minding my own business. I planned a trip to Greece because a few family members where going and I saw this as my chance to appreciate Greece in a different way than what I was used to growing up. I LOVED IT. I'll post a blog on my trip to Greece later.

When I told him I was going to Greece in July it became this big thing about meeting up before I left. I have no idea what he thought - he never explained anything to me. And we did finally meet either the week before I left or the week of my trip. I can't remember know which. We went to his friends house and it apparently was a pool party that I wasn't prepared for. I was encouraged to swim in my bra and panties. I declined. So he and I went to a movie. The movie theater made the movie horrible. It was so hot in there I thought I was going to die. We left and went back to his friends house for another hour or two. It was interesting. I had a good time. I enjoyed myself immensely and I thought it was the start of something more... HA HA HA HA

To shorten this up I went to Greece and came back 3 weeks later. A few days after coming home I was told in a text by Blue Eyes that he thought about this long and hard and unfortunately all he could offer me at this moment was a friends with benefits situation. I to my dismay was of course crushed. I should have known something like this was going to happen. Of course I didn't understand it and I still don't. Maybe is my lack of inexperience but first and foremost he and I aren't even friends to have a sexual relationship with. To me a friends with benefits situation comes with a lot of trust because you've pretty much known the person for a very long time. He and I don't have that kind of relationship. Maybe I am reading into this too much but I don't understand it. And it's still bothering me to this day because he keeps cropping up into my life again.

If he was even nice to me once in the last few weeks I would have said lets go out for a date or something but he isn't into that. He'd rather get a hotel room and experiment. What the F is wrong with men in this day and age? Where are all the good guys? Where are the ones that want to have a meaningful relationship with someone that they care about? Is it just me? Am I in the wrong here?