Sunday, January 23, 2011

Blue Eyes update

Yesterday, my mom, Aunt and I were sitting around the kitchen table eating lunch and talking about Blue Eyes. We all pretty much said the same thing, he is a nice person and a great guy if it wasn't for his views on sex. We all believe that he hasn't really done anything sexually and he wants to try it before he commits to anyone. That was pretty much the end of the discussion but I totally believe that with all of my heart.

So I go about my business the rest of the day. I went to a friends house and had her little kids entertain me. I had a blast. Anyway, while  there Blue Eyes sends me a text message about how he keeps trying to think of things to say so that I could trust him again but that he believes it's never going to happen. I told him that I actually did trust him, and I do, it's just the way he thinks about sex hurts me. Makes me feel worthless, and I don't know what to do or think anymore. He replied back that he doesn't know what he can say other then times are tough and he's trying to give me all that he can offer. (Which is still friends with benefits). I then texted him back and told him that there will always be good times and bad times. The bad times never go away and that he needs to understand where I'm coming from here. That I want to be friends with him but also I want something more and that I respect myself too much to just jump into bed with him or anyone else for that matter. He replied back that he understands completely but that it's just a shitty situation. I told him that this does suck all around and that I'd like us to at least be friends and hang out but that we don't even do that. He replied back saying that his schedule and his responsibilities make things hard for him to plan. At this point I wanted to say well that's where you make me a responsibility and just like you tell me no I can't meet up tonight you turn around and tell the other person no and come see me. But I didn't of course. I just told him that my schedule is just as crazy and that it's hard to plan things for me too. I'm still waiting for a reply to that text.

And that's another thing that pisses me off. This is all done through text and never through a phone call or for him to even say can we meet up and talk. Nothing. I though things were over between us then he does little shit like this and I don't know where I am anymore.

What do you guys think? I am I still crazy for talking to him, even now?


  1. Val as to your question whether you are crazy to talk to him or not. I think yes and no. Yes because I feel you are hurting yourself by giving him power over you and making you feel worthless. It's not your fault he is screwed up, but you end up blaming yourself and doubting who you are. While trying to decode what he means by the texts he writes.
    The no part is well, as females we hang in there thinking that we can either influence or change them. It is the female instinct in us to 'fix things'. And when we fail at it we blame our selves and our abilities. I personally see him as someone who isn't fixable by you or anyone else. So the question then is do you want to spend your time always being frustrated by his beliefs and actions or write it off to an experience and move on to something else? When will enough be enough for you? How many chances do you give him?
    I've read all your posts and it seems imho that you have a lot on your plate, is this worth it?
    My advice if and when he texts again, and I believe he will. Chalk it up to one of those friends that are like in and out of your life as soon as the text comes, you know the ones who say hi and bye in one word and you have no other contact with them. Get emotionally detached from him and let what he says mean nothing. Think of him more like a gay friend..LOL and have fun just hearing from him now and then rather than becoming a basket case every time you get a text from him. I would move on but I'm not you, you are the only one who would know if you are.

  2. I know exactly what you are saying Anon. My mom thought she could change my dad and it's lead to a bitter and miserable marriage. I love my mom, my dad I can take or leave, but I don't want that for me. I don't want bitterness and resentment to take over my life. I keep going back and forth over this guy and it isn't fair to me or to him even. I don't think I'll ever see him in person because we mutually decided to meet up. If we ever do see each other in the future it might be at some large function that we both are attending. Or in his case, he says he'll be there burt he probably decides to do something else at the last minute. *Sigh* Some men really do suck!